STFU ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS: You’re Dead to Me So Save Your Breath

How’s your day? Is it Wednesday yet?

Not too bad, busy. But I have to say, I’m a little apprehensive about coming over on Wednesday.

Ohhh, I get it. You had fun giving me the full-court press up until last night and making out Sunday but the minute I prioritize writing over you, you try to make me feel like a stupid slut. Thanks asshole

Maybe it’s nerves. Defense mechanisms. I didn’t plan to meet anyone.

Or maybe it’s because you think you’re God’s gift but you’re really just a pasty cracker with sleep apnea and a beer gut

Not cancelling.  Maybe I’ll even re-think this by tomorrow.
How’s your day?

Great, now that you reminded me why I hate people

Is it egotistical of me to think it’s not totally great because I’ve been wishy-washy?

You are egotistical. But good to hear you’re also self-aware

I really hope I didn’t ruin your day or mood today. Just sharing my thoughts/feelings, weird and/or unfounded as they may be or seem to be.

Fuck your feelings

Isla and I had Chinese food for dinner. Thought I’d send you these.

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One is just nonsense.

Naw bro, you are nonsense.

So, I still need to see your tattoos…

All you need to know is that they’re there to remind me why I should stay away from you

WELL I DIDN’T LIKE YOU EITHER: How to Feel When an Douchebag Rejects You

So you guys. I was recently Tinder-texting with a good-looking single dad, “Eric,” who, upon learning my basic stats and soliciting my answers to “describe your personality in ten words or less,” declared we were “a perfect match.” In fact, he was so excited to meet me that he drove 80 miles on a Tuesday night because that happened to be my soonest available time slot.

As soon as we sat down, Eric regaled me with his life story: adopted at birth, emotionally distant parents, high school troublemaker/cool kid, two colleges before finally graduating, first wife who supported him through school but whom he cheated on and ditched with a newborn, bankruptcy, moving back home, three more kids “by accident” with a pretty but empty-headed girlfriend… Continue reading “WELL I DIDN’T LIKE YOU EITHER: How to Feel When an Douchebag Rejects You”