STFU ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS: You’re Dead to Me So Save Your Breath

How’s your day? Is it Wednesday yet?

Not too bad, busy. But I have to say, I’m a little apprehensive about coming over on Wednesday.

Ohhh, I get it. You had fun giving me the full-court press up until last night and making out Sunday but the minute I prioritize writing over you, you try to make me feel like a stupid slut. Thanks asshole

Maybe it’s nerves. Defense mechanisms. I didn’t plan to meet anyone.

Or maybe it’s because you think you’re God’s gift but you’re really just a pasty cracker with sleep apnea and a beer gut

Not cancelling.  Maybe I’ll even re-think this by tomorrow.
How’s your day?

Great, now that you reminded me why I hate people

Is it egotistical of me to think it’s not totally great because I’ve been wishy-washy?

You are egotistical. But good to hear you’re also self-aware

I really hope I didn’t ruin your day or mood today. Just sharing my thoughts/feelings, weird and/or unfounded as they may be or seem to be.

Fuck your feelings

Isla and I had Chinese food for dinner. Thought I’d send you these.

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One is just nonsense.

Naw bro, you are nonsense.

So, I still need to see your tattoos…

All you need to know is that they’re there to remind me why I should stay away from you

NO SUCH THING AS A SURE THING: How to Deal With Rapid-Fire Rejection

You guys. I feel like I’m in a one-act play where the main character has two options: jump out a tenth-story window or psych herself into becoming the CEO of her own mega-branded motivational speaking lifestyle channel. Jesus fucking Christ. Either way, the struggle is real.

This week has been, like, an excruciating exercise in rapid-fire rejection. Two breakup texts in the space of three days, plus obvious ghosting by the Tinder Virgin guy from last week, whose blog post recounting our awful second date I haven’t even gotten a chance to finish yet. And should I add to this list the mutual ghosting between me and boring date guy, who ended up never hitting me up again (probably for the best).

So let’s recap: three rejections after one date, and now this rejection even before the first date! Continue reading “NO SUCH THING AS A SURE THING: How to Deal With Rapid-Fire Rejection”

THE SNOOZEFEST DATE: When He’s Hot… But Boring

You guys.  I had a nice date last night with “Charlie.”  But when I say nice, what I really mean is, booooooring.  When I find myself on a date fantasizing about brushing my teeth and going to sleep, that’s probably an indication that there isn’t (or shouldn’t) be a second date.

PROS:
He was hot.  I know you might not be impressed when I say this, but he was like a super-attractive version of Rob Schneider. Continue reading “THE SNOOZEFEST DATE: When He’s Hot… But Boring”