STFU ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS: You’re Dead to Me So Save Your Breath

How’s your day? Is it Wednesday yet?

Not too bad, busy. But I have to say, I’m a little apprehensive about coming over on Wednesday.

Ohhh, I get it. You had fun giving me the full-court press up until last night and making out Sunday but the minute I prioritize writing over you, you try to make me feel like a stupid slut. Thanks asshole

Maybe it’s nerves. Defense mechanisms. I didn’t plan to meet anyone.

Or maybe it’s because you think you’re God’s gift but you’re really just a pasty cracker with sleep apnea and a beer gut

Not cancelling.  Maybe I’ll even re-think this by tomorrow.
How’s your day?

Great, now that you reminded me why I hate people

Is it egotistical of me to think it’s not totally great because I’ve been wishy-washy?

You are egotistical. But good to hear you’re also self-aware

I really hope I didn’t ruin your day or mood today. Just sharing my thoughts/feelings, weird and/or unfounded as they may be or seem to be.

Fuck your feelings

Isla and I had Chinese food for dinner. Thought I’d send you these.

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One is just nonsense.

Naw bro, you are nonsense.

So, I still need to see your tattoos…

All you need to know is that they’re there to remind me why I should stay away from you

SUPER LIKING BY ACCIDENT: Because God Forbid You Made Someone’s Day

Jesus Christ, people.  We’ve got a narcissist fucktard as our Commander-in-Chief, women are STILL sexually harassing men in the workplace, and everyone else is either an opiate addict or a Type 2 diabetic.  So if there’s one non-shitty thing you can do for another wretched person on this doomed planet, DO IT.

That means not making a big fucking drama-queen deal about super-liking someone by accident.  Go ahead, let them furiously masturbate to the idea that you’re furiously masturbating to their driver’s-side-selfie profile pic!  (What is it with dudes and car selfies btw?)  Let them feast on your precious crumbs of unintentional flattery in those blissful moments before you shatter their dreams by un-matching them from your tired queue of People Who Meet Your Totally Arbitrary Standards for Physical Attractiveness But Who Are Probably Cold and Dead on the Inside.

VERDICT: Consider it community service, bitches!