STFU ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS: You’re Dead to Me So Save Your Breath

How’s your day? Is it Wednesday yet?

Not too bad, busy. But I have to say, I’m a little apprehensive about coming over on Wednesday.

Ohhh, I get it. You had fun giving me the full-court press up until last night and making out Sunday but the minute I prioritize writing over you, you try to make me feel like a stupid slut. Thanks asshole

Maybe it’s nerves. Defense mechanisms. I didn’t plan to meet anyone.

Or maybe it’s because you think you’re God’s gift but you’re really just a pasty cracker with sleep apnea and a beer gut

Not cancelling.  Maybe I’ll even re-think this by tomorrow.
How’s your day?

Great, now that you reminded me why I hate people

Is it egotistical of me to think it’s not totally great because I’ve been wishy-washy?

You are egotistical. But good to hear you’re also self-aware

I really hope I didn’t ruin your day or mood today. Just sharing my thoughts/feelings, weird and/or unfounded as they may be or seem to be.

Fuck your feelings

Isla and I had Chinese food for dinner. Thought I’d send you these.

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One is just nonsense.

Naw bro, you are nonsense.

So, I still need to see your tattoos…

All you need to know is that they’re there to remind me why I should stay away from you

THE SNOOZEFEST DATE: When He’s Hot… But Boring

You guys.  I had a nice date last night with “Charlie.”  But when I say nice, what I really mean is, booooooring.  When I find myself on a date fantasizing about brushing my teeth and going to sleep, that’s probably an indication that there isn’t (or shouldn’t) be a second date.

He was hot.  I know you might not be impressed when I say this, but he was like a super-attractive version of Rob Schneider. Continue reading “THE SNOOZEFEST DATE: When He’s Hot… But Boring”

DEAD ENDS: The Conversation Dud

Some Tinder conversations start out strong.  A guy contacts you and gets you right away with witty banter — fun!  So you go back and forth, rapid fire, for a few minutes, even hours.  And then… THUD.  He responds with something so dull, or so un-interactive, that it seems totally intended to halt the conversation in its tracks.

But this isn’t your everyday dumb comment/response.  Dead-ends happen only when your match takes a loooooooong time to reply to your last text… then hits you with a dud.

Think about it: if he really liked you, he’d come back with something strong, something designed to get you back into the swing of convo again, right?  But when he does this (see last comment below), you know it’s time to move along.  Don’t waste your time, princess — un-match this bitch!