SUPER LIKING BY ACCIDENT: Because God Forbid You Made Someone’s Day

Jesus Christ, people.  We’ve got a narcissist fucktard as our Commander-in-Chief, women are STILL sexually harassing men in the workplace, and everyone else is either an opiate addict or a Type 2 diabetic.  So if there’s one non-shitty thing you can do for another wretched person on this doomed planet, DO IT.

That means not making a big fucking drama-queen deal about super-liking someone by accident.  Go ahead, let them furiously masturbate to the idea that you’re furiously masturbating to their driver’s-side-selfie profile pic!  (What is it with dudes and car selfies btw?)  Let them feast on your precious crumbs of unintentional flattery in those blissful moments before you shatter their dreams by un-matching them from your tired queue of People Who Meet Your Totally Arbitrary Standards for Physical Attractiveness But Who Are Probably Cold and Dead on the Inside.

VERDICT: Consider it community service, bitches!